I once told my mom that I thought that playing dumb to flirt with boys was stupid and was something I would never do. I was lying. In junior high I would have gladly traded ten percent of my IQ for a little more action. But there were simply no brains-to-giggles translators that I could find in my little town and I was trying to make the most of the arrogance and smarts that I had in abundance. So I pretended to be happy with this arrangement so that I would appear wise.
Would I give up some of my gray stuff now? No. But I also like to think I'm a little bit more adjusted now. But it's taken the same amount of awkwardness to get here - I just deferred mine while I was studying AP biology. My point is, little girls: flirt as much as you can in junior high. In high school. In your summer job; at the ballpark; wherever. Practice making as many friends as you can. If you think it's awkward now, wait 'til you have to practice in college. Not fun. Don't let anybody pressure you into solely academic rather than social pursuits, even if you ARE naturally the class ace. And don't be worried if he's a little dumb: he can learn where Israel is in POLI 1001. And drop the arrogance - remember: boys don't make passes at girls who make fun of girls who don't wear glasses.
To the other nerdy girls judging me now for giving up the "only academics are important" act: you know you were thinking it, too. Prom dresses trump A's any day of the week. Stop telling your little sisters and cousins and daughters that one day the boys will be beating down their doors. They know you're being patronizing. Do not buy them science books to encourage their arrogance and feeling of isolation from their peers. Do not tell them that Christian boys will prefer brains over boobs, when you know full well that Christian boys like'em, too. It's best to get over the unfairness of the neighbor girl's d-cups early. Teach them how to make chocolate chip cookies and apply mascara properly instead. And how to make small talk gracefully and how guys think differently than they do. Take them shopping. Show them how you interact with your friends, especially male friends (watch your language, though). They'll appreciate it in the long run.
2 comments:
love gizoogle.
and i did not know you knew strong bad!!! homestar runner FTW!
and to comment... yay. i'm looking forward to reading your ramblings. you'll find it therapeutic. it's like talking to a friend... but not.
as for what you said... i think it's all about just liking who you are and NOT trying to step into some sort of stereotype... even if you think you don't or aren't trying.
the girls who are all cute and pretty and giggle have their own hangups. and trust me, guys prefer a cute girl who they can talk to intelligently than a big boobed one who is an idiot the next morning. at least the guys who are worth anything.
personally k...
i think the thing that got dealt was this. you were the 'smart' one. the 'brainy' sister. not the 'pretty' sister. or the 'outgoing' one.
so...
you know how we start to live up to others expectations... well we do.
in fairness, i think you should have been told more how PRETTY you are. cause you are. and how funny you are. cause you are. and... maybe you should have been given a little attention on those areas.
just as beth is smart as well as cute... you're pretty as well as intelligent.
you are just becoming even more awesome. stick around and you'll see.
Life is all a delicate balance. It's not that boys go for the boobs first, then the brains later... I think the focus just shifts percentages. They start out wanting 99.9% boobs, and later in life they realize that boobs can't carry on a conversation about politics or books or the environment, but rather just sit there, looking good in a shirt. Then it moves to more of a 40% brains, 60% boobs. Then, if they're really lucky, they'll figure out before they're married that one day those boobs will sag and the appeal will be 99.9% brains instead, so they shift to more of a 75% brains, 25% boobs. I don't think the boobs part ever goes away fully, but hey, here's to being appreciated for the grey matter.
As for me, I was lucky to find myself a nerd, who was very into the brains and actually told me once that he liked smaller boobs. :-)
So bake your cookies and wear your stilettos, but be sure to still read that text book for the class you aren't taking and watch the documentary you DVR'd.
Love you, Kel!
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